(Real Stories) The Price of Love: How Bride Price Crushed My Marital Dreams
Our Reporter
Jul 02, 2025
(Real Stories) The Price of Love: How Bride Price Crushed My Marital Dreams
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I met Femi at a wedding in Abuja. We clicked almost instantly. He was quiet, thoughtful the kind of man who made small moments feel meaningful. He remembered how I took my tea, opened car doors, and would text after a long day just to say, "I'm proud of you.ÔÇØ
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It felt solid. Safe. Real.
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Two years later, he proposed. No grand gestures. No crowd. Just him, down on one knee in our living room, hands shaking, eyes soft. I said yes before he even finished asking. We were ready.
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We rented a place together, opened a joint savings account, and started planning for a small but elegant wedding.
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Then came the formal introductions.
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I'm from Imo State. Femi is Yoruba. I had warned him-half-jokingly that my people didn't play when it came to tradition. But even I wasn't prepared for what followed.
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The bride price list his family received was... overwhelming.
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1 million in cash. Two live goats. 25 tubers of yam. Crates of soft drinks. Kegs of palm wine. Traditional outfits for my father, mother, and elders. An additional 200,000 labeled "groom appreciation and another 50,000 to "greet the in-laws.
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Femi's father was stunned. He looked at the list and laughed.
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"Are we marrying a daughter or opening a supermarket?ÔÇØ he joked.
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They took the list home, saying they'd "discuss it.ÔÇØ But deep down, I already knew what was coming.
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Three weeks later, Femi sat across from me, quiet. He didn't raise his voice. He didn't blame me.
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He just said, "I love you... but I can't bankrupt my family to marry you.ÔÇØ
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I stared at him, waiting for the punchline.
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"So that's it? Just like that?ÔÇØ
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"It's not just like that,ÔÇØ he replied. "We tried to negotiate. Your uncles won't budge. My dad says it feels like extortion. I'm stuck.ÔÇØ
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I wanted to scream. I wanted to remind him of everything we had built, everything we'd overcome. But what hurt most wasn't the money-it was that he didn't fight harder. He let it go. He let me go.
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After he left, I begged my mother to speak to our kinsmen. She shook her head.
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"It's our custom,ÔÇØ she said. "Any man who truly wants to marry you will pay it.ÔÇØ
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But what happens when culture prices you out of love?
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It's been seven months. Femi has moved on. He's with someone new now. I see his updates her smile, their trips, their soft launch into a future I once pictured for us.
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And me? I'm still here, surrounded by aunties telling me not to worry, that the right man will come and pay every kobo.
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But I don't want a man who can afford me.
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I want the man who chose me even when it was hard.
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— Our Reporter