Wife Files for Protection Against Husband's Nightly Excessive Bedroom Olympics | READ DETAILS

In a hilarious yet distressing metro drama, Harare's civil court recently saw Melocia Gwata petition for protection against her husband, George Kusotera, who seems to think marriage comes with a nightly gym membership. Melocia revealed that her husband demanded intimacy up to eight times a night, an exhausting schedule that left her worn out, and, frankly, ready for retirement from this "intimacy marathon."

"He wakes me up in the middle of the night, even after several rounds, and expects more. My body just can't take it anymore!ÔÇØ she told Magistrate Judith Taruvinga, while the courtroom struggled not to snicker.

But it wasn't just Kusotera's stamina that was the issue. Melocia a wife accused him of turning abusive when she simply needed to sleep. "When I refuse, he becomes violent and even threatens divorce. He's insulted me in front of our children, telling them I'm not fit to be their mother!ÔÇØ

Apparently, Kusotera's approach to romance isn't just passionate-it's more of a full-contact sport. When it was his turn to speak, Kusotera awkwardly apologized, claiming he didn't realize his "excessive love" was overwhelming his wife. "I didn't know I was making her uncomfortable. I'm really sorry and I promise I won't hit her again,ÔÇØ he said, while likely contemplating whether his next move should be less "marathon" and more "snuggle."

After hearing both sides, Magistrate Taruvinga granted Melocia a protection order, giving her the peace and quiet she clearly deserves. As for George, he's going to have to cool it on the "Olympic training" if he wants to stay in the game!